Comedian Shin Ki-ru (44), who lost her mother in March, shared the sense of guilt she experienced after her mother's passing.
A video featuring comedian Seong Hyeon-ju was released on Shin Ki-ru's YouTube channel on Wednesday.
Seong Hyeon-ju, who lost her son, Si-hoo, in 2020 after more than three years of illness, said, "Having gone through such a major ordeal, I thought raising my second child would be a noble endeavor, but in reality, it is not that different."
However, she added, "When my second child cries excessively for no apparent reason, it can be exhausting, yet I am also grateful."
In response, Shin said, "The hospital where Si-hoo was admitted was in Suwon, and Hyeon-ju went there every day." She continued, "I had never waited before until last year when my mother was in the intensive care unit before she passed away. I thought it was amazing that Hyeon-ju could go there every day."
She then confessed her innermost thoughts, which she had not been able to share with anyone after losing her mother.
Shin said, "The other day, while looking through photos, I found a picture of me and my mother taken at home three days before she passed away. We were eating omakase (chef's special course) that cost 500,000 won for one meal."
She added, "I also felt deeply guilty about drinking after work when my mother was in the intensive care unit before that." She explained, "Sitting at the hospital like Shim Chung, the filial daughter, would not have solved anything. Hospital rules did not allow it either. But yes, I still suppress those feelings and live with them."
Shin said she deliberately avoids looking at photos of her mother for fear that her suppressed emotions might overflow.
She calmly said, "Everyone's way of coping may be different, but I am currently suppressing my feelings. I am making an effort to the point where people ask how I can seem so fine."
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